well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
