i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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