whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
His hands were made for my vagina.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
