he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
