No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
