I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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