Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I checked into jail on foursquare
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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