I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
P.S. I can't hear my feet
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
NoShamevember. You game?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
