rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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