We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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