I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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