Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
