We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
