I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
