dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize