you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
