He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Randomize
