Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
