i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
