I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
