I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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