why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
