found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
