u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
