my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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