yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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