you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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