So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
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I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
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I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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