Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
