Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
