You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
