Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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