You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.