Texts From Last Night

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  (573): View more from Missouri

  My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.

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  (573): My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best. http://tfl.nu/21y4
  Replies (14) Good night (2667) Bad night (706)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  VAGINAS EVERYWHERE

  (804): View more from Virginia

  they're staring at me

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  (804): VAGINAS EVERYWHERE (804): they're staring at me http://tfl.nu/jqj2
  Replies (6) Good night (1951) Bad night (748)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?

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  (908): why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it? http://tfl.nu/3moc
  Replies (52) Good night (1952) Bad night (4895)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide

  (231): View more from Michigan

  please tell me this is not legit

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  (231): I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide (231): please tell me this is not legit http://tfl.nu/bait
  Replies (33) Good night (5784) Bad night (849)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.

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  (573): I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn. http://tfl.nu/8enu
  Replies (13) Good night (948) Bad night (4147)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.

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  (+61): She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse. http://tfl.nu/zap5
  Replies (6) Good night (3389) Bad night (1137)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  Glow parties are what I live for

  (1-204): View more from Manitoba

  Your priorities in life astound me

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  (204): Glow parties are what I live for (1-204): Your priorities in life astound me http://tfl.nu/wtnz
  Replies (1) Good night (1900) Bad night (656)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.

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  (412): Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober. http://tfl.nu/2dqx
  Replies (4) Good night (791) Bad night (1054)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.

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  (207): I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone. http://tfl.nu/cis8
  Replies (3) Good night (1359) Bad night (539)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.

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  (407): It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome. http://tfl.nu/288f
  Replies (2) Good night (1491) Bad night (663)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*

  (1-828): View more from North Carolina

  omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.

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  (828): Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist* (1-828): omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too. http://tfl.nu/j31b
  Replies (4) Good night (1201) Bad night (398)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers

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  (248): I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers http://tfl.nu/pmtt
  Replies (6) Good night (841) Bad night (350)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?

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  (615): I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like? http://tfl.nu/fbjj
  Replies (2) Good night (754) Bad night (283)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.

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  (440): all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers. http://tfl.nu/lyvi
  Replies (2) Good night (894) Bad night (350)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.

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  (225): All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much. http://tfl.nu/26fo
  Replies (1) Good night (584) Bad night (288)

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