u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
The struggles of a small town man whore
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
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