Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun