she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize