I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.