Texts From Last Night

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  (312): View more from Illinois

  i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.

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  (312): i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude. http://tfl.nu/vz4x
  Replies (10) Good night (1098) Bad night (698)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?

  (602): View more from Arizona

  no jk, not my room

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  (602 ): Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room? (602): no jk, not my room http://tfl.nu/i2zn
  Replies (4) Good night (3124) Bad night (731)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me

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  (937): he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me http://tfl.nu/l4dj
  Replies (24) Good night (1848) Bad night (2688)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  No more Irish car bombs ever.

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  (845): No more Irish car bombs ever. http://tfl.nu/mjsz
  Replies (12) Good night (3069) Bad night (1247)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.

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  (513): You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs. http://tfl.nu/utqj
  Replies (35) Good night (8573) Bad night (1580)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me

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  (845): Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me http://tfl.nu/lgfh
  Replies (9) Good night (3228) Bad night (950)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...

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  (201): I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy... http://tfl.nu/nlco
  Replies (5) Good night (2214) Bad night (984)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning

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  (281): Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning http://tfl.nu/3d0d
  Replies (10) Good night (1110) Bad night (860)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"

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  (301): Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles" http://tfl.nu/ewys
  Replies (7) Good night (1451) Bad night (915)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna

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  (814): I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna http://tfl.nu/s83h
  Replies (11) Good night (1210) Bad night (461)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?

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  (856): I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life? http://tfl.nu/hhin
  Replies (4) Good night (397) Bad night (677)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.

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  (202): Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there. http://tfl.nu/rixv
  Replies (3) Good night (356) Bad night (911)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other

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  (803): I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other http://tfl.nu/gz8l
  Replies (5) Good night (687) Bad night (343)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian

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  (201): you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian http://tfl.nu/lzbp
  Replies (2) Good night (1090) Bad night (346)
• Favorite

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!

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  (808): It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint! http://tfl.nu/hn06
  Replies (3) Good night (379) Bad night (298)

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