so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Randomize
