Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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