i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize