The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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