ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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