It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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