how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Randomize
