Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
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we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
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took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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