Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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