how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Randomize
