after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
