saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
