omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
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