did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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