That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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