My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
