I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
