His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
