escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
If I die, sorry about rent.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
