My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
