$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
