Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
