I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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