Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
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