oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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