Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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