I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
