Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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