One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
