I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
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I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
My dick has a subreddit
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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